“Fail” was flashed on my screen. A second ago, I was still feeling confident of getting at least 45 out of 50 (a pass). What went wrong? Why? Is the system borked?

Three years ago, I took the same test and I passed it before; now I failed.

In the next couple of minutes I ponder over my failure, I encountered sadness, regret, anger, shame, and then eventual acceptance. I even tried to find myself reasons of the failure and started to ridicule the way the questions are set and so on. Then it struck me what exactly I was doing; it’s the thing I dislike others to do. I have started to find avenues to blame my misfortune to make myself feel better. It seemed irrational and I’m ashamed to have had thoughts of finding objects of blame.

Shortly my internal struggled ended. I accepted I failed. Will try again.

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