i.justrealized

“Fail” was flashed on my screen. A second ago, I was still feeling confident of getting at least 45 out of 50 (a pass). What went wrong? Why? Is the system borked?

Three years ago, I took the same test and I passed it before; now I failed.

In the next couple of minutes I ponder over my failure, I encountered sadness, regret, anger, shame, and then eventual acceptance. I even tried to find myself reasons of the failure and started to ridicule the way the questions are set and so on. Then it struck me what exactly I was doing; it’s the thing I dislike others to do. I have started to find avenues to blame my misfortune to make myself feel better. It seemed irrational and I’m ashamed to have had thoughts of finding objects of blame.

Shortly my internal struggled ended. I accepted I failed. Will try again.

Are things that bad? If you have 10 minutes to spare and are in the mood for reading, read the Guardian article:

Will California become America’s first failed state?

… California is like a patient on life support. At the start of summer the state government was so deeply in debt that it began to issue IOUs instead of wages. Its unemployment rate has soared to more than 12%, the highest figure in 70 years. Desperate to pay off a crippling budget deficit, California is slashing spending in education and healthcare, laying off vast numbers of workers and forcing others to take unpaid leave. In a state made up of sprawling suburbs the collapse of the housing bubble has impoverished millions and kicked tens of thousands of families out of their homes. Its political system is locked in paralysis and the two-term rule of former movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger is seen as a disaster – his approval ratings having sunk to levels that would make George W Bush blush. The crisis is so deep that Professor Kenneth Starr, who has written an acclaimed history of the state, recently declared: “California is on the verge of becoming the first failed state in America.”

… California is currently cutting healthcare, slashing the “Healthy Families” programme that helped an estimated one million of its poorest children. Los Angeles now has a poverty rate of 20%. Other cities across the state, such as Fresno and Modesto, have jobless rates that rival Detroit’s. In order to pass its state budget, California’s government has had to agree to a deal that cuts billions of dollars from education and sacks 60,000 state employees. Some teachers have launched a hunger strike in protest. California’s education system has become so poor so quickly that it is now effectively failing its future workforce. The percentage of 19-year-olds at college in the state dropped from 43% to 30% between 1996 and 2004, one of the highest falls ever recorded for any developed world economy. California’s schools are ranked 47th out of 50 in the nation. Its government-issued bonds have been ranked just above “junk”.

Read it full at Guardian

It has this chilling effect for me.

I’m frustrated with courier services. They haven’t been as punctual as I hope for.

They give a time range, nine to twelve, where I woke specially to prepare for a delivery. I stayed and waited.

And waited. (x100)

It’s half-past-damn-twelve and my package did not arrive. If they claim they would come between 9 to 12, I expect them to come at around 10:30 by rule of averaging. I can’t wait any longer and I’m leaving to 24seven office right now.

This is not the first time this particular delivery is missed. I hope one day courier services would at least send an SMS to inform me that they cannot make it or something.

IBM doesn’t want to buy Sun Microsystems anymore. I think it’s a good move for IBM although it’s really bad for Sun Microsystems. IBM is the best suitor for Sun, considering it’s experience in monetizing on opensource projects. Sun can’t seem to earn much money out of it.

I.B.M. Withdraws $7 Billion Offer for Sun Microsystems

I.B.M. withdrew its $7 billion bid for Sun Microsystems on Sunday, one day after Sun’s board balked at a reduced offer, according to three people close to the talks.

The deal’s collapse after weeks of negotiations raises questions about Sun’s next step, since the I.B.M. offer was far above the value of the Silicon Valley company’s shares when news of the I.B.M. offer first surfaced last month. Sun, an innovative pioneer in computer workstations, servers and Internet-era software, has struggled in recent years and spent months trying to secure a suitor.

With I.B.M. and others shying away from a deal, a bruised Sun could be forced to continue pursuing a solo business model whose prospects have been questioned by many analysts.I.B.M. had a team of more than 100 lawyers conducting due-diligence research on potential problems in a purchase of Sun, ranging from those antitrust concerns to Sun’s contracts with employees and I.B.M. competitors.

After the legal review, I.B.M. shaved its offer Saturday from $9.55 a share, the proposal on the table late last week, to $9.40 a share, said one person familiar with the talks. The offer was presented to Sun’s board on Saturday, and the board balked. The Sun board did not reject the offer outright, but wanted certain guarantees that the I.B.M. side considered “onerous,” according to that person.

Sun then said it would no longer abide by its exclusive negotiating agreement with I.B.M., a second person familiar with the discussions said. On Sunday, I.B.M.’s board decided to withdraw the offer. (Source: New York Times)

I applaud IBM on not purchasing Sun Microsystems. It’s not worth USD7billion at all. Acquiring the company is like charity work.